BJ Not BK

I haven't taken a bath in 30 years.  Let me clarify that statement...I take showers.  The whole concept of the bath is kooky and arcane if you ask me.  It's kind of like a stinking man soup where you steep in your own funk and then get out and dry off.  For me the shower is the way to go. 

I suppose you could call me a purist when it comes to my showers.  No poofs, no pumice, just thousands of gallons of scalding hot water, and a bar of dial soap.  For some reason I have never come to appreciate the washcloth?  Is that TMI?  I shave in the shower using a fog free mirror that is always fogged up. 

But am I missing out on not taking a bath?  I do remember my mom making me bubble baths when I was a kid.  Who didn't wear a bubble beard or bubble gloves?  I also remember the endless supply of bath toys, scuba divers, sponge letters, and a fleet of boats all within an arm's reach ready to launch into action upon my command.  Have you ever experienced the power of commanding a fleet of toy bath boats?

I suppose there is a time in every man's life when the transition from playing in the bathtub to actually bathing takes place but I can't remember mine. 

Maybe I am just waxing nostalgic and the real reason I don't take baths any more is that it takes 30 minutes to fill up the tub, the water gets cold too quick, and we don't have any bubble bath in the house. 

Who knows, maybe this weekend I'll go out and pick up some Mr. Bubbles.  After 30 years maybe it's time to take a bath?