It is better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission

Posted Friday, April 27, 2007 7:45 AM by BJ not BK
I am not perfect, close, but not there yet.  People make mistakes, we all goof up from time to time right?  I don't know about you but I am getting tired, no sick, no, sick and tired of being held personally accountable for my own decisions, for my bone head actions. 

Today....I relinquish all ties to personal responsibility!

I have it all figured out.  You see there are times when I say dumb things, write dumb things, make choices that aren't the best, after all I am almost human.  In the past my course of action, redemption, was through confession, apology, and consequences.  That is so last year!  Today I have followed in the footsteps of the rich and famous.  Today, the headcount at bjnotbk moves from (my entire para-legal staff, my team of 29 tax attorneys, legal advisers, consultants, accountants, probation officer, and clergy) 72 to well beyond 100.

I have added the following to my staff:

Catholic Priest
Episcopal Priest
Baptist Minister
Baptist Preacher
Methodist Minister
Presbyterian Minister
Unitarian
Vegan
Democrat
Greek Orthodox Clergy
Rabbi - both unorthodox and orthodox
Sherpa
Buddhist Monk
Hindu Monk
Guru
Hairdresser
Imam
and a Scientologist who will be mowing our yard

Why the increase in headcount?  Why such politically correct diversity?  I call it Real Risk Management.

Moving forward I will no longer follow my previous, outdated model of personal accountability.  No more acknowledgment of wrong doing, no more confessions, no more consequences.  Instead, I will say whatever I please, do whatever I please and my PR man will notify me of any actions that could possibly offend.  Depending on the incident I will console with the proper religious leader for "healing" and "closure."  It really is a nice system when you think about it.

See Alec Baldwin
See Don Imus

Although I am not sure if I can continue to carry health insurance for all these people....."What's that?  I can't not pay insurance?  Someone has been offended?  Quick, get our Priest, the Rabbi, and a Baptist preacher....were going to a bar."

***please note that bjnotbk does not advocate going to bars.  If this post offended you please email one of our diverse staff memebers at healing-closure-love-cooltheearth-savethepolarbears@yahoo.com

Comments

# re: It is better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission

Friday, April 27, 2007 8:59 AM by Zach

BJ, now I really think you're spying on me. lol, that's been my google talk message for MONTHS.

# re: It is better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission

Friday, April 27, 2007 9:07 AM by Joe Napalm

I would say that this is the most offensive and liberal piece of cow dung that I have ever read ... but I understand that it isn't your fault. You, here, are the victim and for that I feel guilt.

# re: It is better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission

Friday, April 27, 2007 9:30 AM by scoutmom

Remember, when all else fails, there's always rehab - which totally clears you of everything, even better than absolution!

# re: It is better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission

Friday, April 27, 2007 10:43 AM by fleur_de_lis

You forgot astrologer. Then you could blame it on the stars, and get rid of the majority of your staff.

# re: It is better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission

Friday, April 27, 2007 10:49 AM by Fluffy Cow

How about snake oil salesman and professional wrestler?

# re: It is better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission

Saturday, April 28, 2007 7:11 PM by Sally

Or you could always go back to the old stand by "temporary insanity", get on the old psychiatrist couch and blame any and everything on your parents, starting before you were even born to the present date.  Then you would only have to write 1 check.

Great post!!

Deb