BJ Not BK

It is not uncommon for me to be approached numerous times a day from various media outlets, AP, CNN, blogs, websites, all trying to gain access into the mind and life of bjnotbk.  My PR machine has done a great job of keeping the papparzi at bay, in fact, if you saw me on the street you would never realize that there were any papparzi?  Good job men...keep it up!  So what's up?  What's this all about?  Well, after years of crafting the perfect online persona, keeping everyone at arm's length I am now granting you, my reading audience exclusive access into the life of bjnotbk.  Who did I choose to do the interview?  Barbara?  Larry King?  Rush?  Savage?  Naah....too sophomoric for something this big.

Instead I have choose myself to well...introduce myself.

Earlier this week I spent the day with myself at my undisclosed underground laboratory sipping a late asking some in depth probing questions.

bj - Thanks bjnotbk for sitting down with me.  I know your time is valuable so I promise not to waste your time.

bjnotbk - np

bj - You know, I never realized you were this dreamy in person....is that a hint of body butter I smell?

bjnotbk - awkward silence

bj - ok, so first question that is killing everyone.  What's the deal with the name?

bjnotbk - I can explain that pretty easy really.  The name is kind of a tip of my hat to a dear man in the family who kept asking..."Why do they call him bj?  Shouldn't it be bk?"  The truth is I was adopted and my name was bartholomeux kspttuyxtoxjoe with the kspttuyxt silent.  Kind of one of those i before e rules.

bj -  What's that huge scar on your chest?

bjnotbk - Well, when I was a child the surgeons had the break my ribs because my heart was so big and so full of love.  

bj - right.....next question.  What is with all the tattoos?  Are or have you ever been in a gang, are you an ex NBA player, member of the mafia..are...

bjnotbk - easy sport.  The tattoos come into play via several outlets family, the Navy, rebellion, my involvement in martial arts.

bj - do you regret them?

bjnotbk - sometimes but most of the time I don't even notice them.  I mean I have had these for over 15 years so it's not like I get up in the morning, look in the mirror and am surprised.

bj - WAAAAAAA

bjnotbk - what was that?

bj - my switching topic button.  How have you come to grips and coped with the fact that you will never be Joe Napalm?

bjnotbk - awkward silence

bj - u...yes, Tell us about your photos?  If you could describe yourself as one photographer or relate your style to a famous photographer who would it be?

bjnotbk - Digital cameras are such a blessing.  You can point and shoot anything an unlimited number of times for free.  I love architecture, people, and anything that catches my eye.  In comparing myself and my photography I would have to say that I am a mix of Annie Lebowitz and Ansel Adams with much more leg hair, tattoos, and sarcasm.

bj - ahaaa, you mentioned the magic word, sarcasm, where does it all flow from?

bjnotbk - you see when I was only 2 years old my parents apprenticed me out to a family of gypsies in New York City.  I would sell matches during the day and at night I would tell jokes and spin wild tales while boiling cabbage over an open fire.

bj - long awkward silence......ok, last question...boxers or briefs?

bjnotbk - boxer briefs

bj - thank you so much for your time today bjnotbk.   

bjnotbk - np you don't have to go home you just can't stay here....now get out