BJ Not BK

You won't believe what happened to me yesterday.

I hate cliches...don't you? Let's cut to the chase. If you could have any super power in the world what would it be? Most people say flying and most men say X-ray vision or invisibility. We won't go there. Here is the challenge to you my faithful readers. What obscure super power would you choose for yourself if you could? Here is mine: I would give myself the ability to manipulate and control melon fruits. I would call myself - HONEY DO!!! My powers would give me the ability to control, manipulate, move, transform, shape, any melon fruit into any fashion I so choose. Here are some examples: I could fashion a jet fighter out of fresh cantelope. With a watermelon I could build a bridge or heal the planet of global warming. You get the idea. My weakness would be that melon fruit is seasonal. If the melon is out of season then I would not have my super powers so....my challenge would be to hire a young sidekick, Pit, and he would be in charge of my underground hot house where...

Enjoy!

Not sure why the video did not post the other day? But here is the link if you want to see what really happens on the weekends. http://www.jibjab.com/sendables/view/ncF7Rdj5Gx87AnaERNcLQSU1

Traffic has been slower than usual lately, the place seems empty as most of the family has left for vacations, shopping binges, and long weekends of egg nog and pecan logs. I know several of you are out there though still checking in from time to time and I don't want you to get discouraged. I pulled the folks together from marketing and we hired Peyton Manning to do some timeless pep talks just for you. I hope this lifts you up in the slow season as we wind down 2007. By the way, I ripped this off from Master Card but I am sure you already knew that.

Here is the part of the show where you, the faithful reader, submit your favorite joke's punchline. Please, family friendly material only. Remember, we are only posting the punchline. Here is mine: "Do you want that bridge in 2 or 4 lanes?"

I slept like a baby last night, meaning I woke about every 2 hours cried, ate, and then used the bathroom, I am too young for this yet something serene happened to me early this morning, something surreal. As I finally dozed off I fell into a deep sleep, relaxed, calm, and I began to dream. I don't recall the dream but a sense of euphoria crept over me, peace settled on my trouble mind like a Yugoslavian snow drift. I awoke but this time I neither cried nor ate, something big had just happened, something that would forever change my world but what? Then I remembered that my barber informed me that this morning at 11:00 GMT (6AM EST) 5 million people had pledged to join around their computers to send positive energy and love out simultaneously to heal the planet [ link ]. Why hadn't someone thought about this before? I looked at my clock and wouldn't you know it.......6:35 A.M. what was this strange emotional calm I had just entered? Had I just been engulfed by the love of the...

I wish I could make this stuff up but I can't. This weekend the FDA released an announcement warning against "tainted veggie booty" [ link ]. Tainted with what and how? That is why I only eat all meat booty. Goofy vegans.