BJ Not BK

Change brings about hope unless the change is not good which dashes hope but hope brings about change which I hope does not nor never changes. Hope, change, both very good words that I hope you do not miss out on and I hope this change of tone does not throw you for a loop of change which would not be hopeless but devoid of the hope that usually comes with change. Change your mind in the hopes that hope that comes with change will really usher in a new era of hope. Hope you enjoyed this....

New, improved, and twice the sarcasm. Week In Weird 2.0

The real reason behind the financial crisis you won't find anywhere else.

I am older than I thought as I reflect on my first day Graduate School.

Today is Friday and that means...the week in weird brought to you by my mother who decided to have a baby 36 years ago. Thanks Mom! Friday is for photos so here goes. 1. You always see me plug Joe Thorn's photos [ link ] and Steve Mckoy [ link ] so here are some of my very favorite. Joe Thorn Steve Mckoy 3. Finally a couple of my own photos If you like great photography make sure to visit Steve Mckoy's Friday photos here [ link ] and Joe Thorn's here [ link ]. Want to see your photo published here? Submit all family friendly photos to bjnotbk@gmail.com for consideration. Please note that I reserve the right to publish or not publish any submission. 4. By the numbers - 55 - that's the number of consecutive pushups i just did. I am working my way through the 100 push-up challenge [ link ]. Give it a try, it's free. 36 - that's the number of lbs I have lost since March. For most of my life I have tried to lose weight by changing diet, exercising, etc. with limited...

I received notification yesterday that my amateur status may be in jeopardy.......

It is not uncommon for me to be approached numerous times a day from various media outlets, AP, CNN, blogs, websites, all trying to gain access into the mind and life of bjnotbk. My PR machine has done a great job of keeping the papparzi at bay, in fact, if you saw me on the street you would never realize that there were any papparzi? Good job men...keep it up! So what's up? What's this all about? Well, after years of crafting the perfect online persona, keeping everyone at arm's length I am now granting you, my reading audience exclusive access into the life of bjnotbk. Who did I choose to do the interview? Barbara? Larry King? Rush? Savage? Naah....too sophomoric for something this big. Instead I have choose myself to well...introduce myself. Earlier this week I spent the day with myself at my undisclosed underground laboratory sipping a late asking some in depth probing questions. bj - Thanks bjnotbk for sitting down with me. I know your time is valuable so I promise not...

Pet Peeve #2 comes to you in the form of irritation at stupid pet names. I know that plenty of you out there have paid zero attention to my what is and is not a pet law. Ok, so you have a sever disdain for authority, I get it. You have a cat and are not eating it and you have not thrown it away...not sure I get that but please, please make sure you follow proper naming protocol in the event you try to claim a cat, pig, bird or anything else that really isn't a pet as a pet. CATS - The only proper name for a cat is either kitty or cat. Nothing else works. I hate it when people call their cats names like fluffy, muffin, pickles, socs, boots, mr. boots, hairy, etc. Please use proper faux-pet naming procedures and use either kitty or cat sames goes for other faux-pets please avoid the obvious at all costs....no spot, bandit, or chocolate to coincide with your pet's fur, no tiger, no killer, no champ to go along with the lack of personality of your faux-pet either. Nothing makes me...

As part of giving back to the community I bring you the following public service announcement (and because the court ordered me to 1027 hours of community service for clubbing a baby seal and then using it's blubber to make candles). Ever notice how well off we Americans are? We have big buildings, big cars, big states like Texas, and big hair so why go small when it comes to pets? One of my greatest pet peeves are is when people deceive themselves with what I call faux-pets, you know, pets that aren't really pets. As an expert who once read a book that had pictures of animals in it let me explain myself and educate you on the finer points of what is and what is not a pet. 1. Only dogs are pets. I could stop here and I am sure everyone would agree with me but please, let me continue. 2. Only dogs that weigh more than 10lbs are pets. Small dogs are not pets, they are food for larger dogs 3. Everything else is a rodent that should be exterminated, eaten, or wiped from the face of...

If you love your family you will read this post. If you want your family to live you will read this post. If you want freedom to reign you will read this post. If you want the US to capture Bin Laden you will read this post. If you want the economy to turn around, gas prices to drop, and the mortgage crisis to end you will read this post. If you love your country you will read this post. If you want to end all forms of body leakage you will read this post. If you do not read this post...... 4 baby seals will be clubbed to death Karl Marx will rise from the dead and take over Detroit. You will not be able to have it your way at Burger King. Jared will get fat again. Paris Hilton will have her own 24 hour network. Obama will be your next president. Cold fusion will never become a reality. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ THIS POST. Everyone who reads this post, prints it out, makes 25 color copies and distributes them at their local grocery store and forwards this on to their 282 closet friends...

"You are to the world what Michael Jordan was to ball..." "Thanks bro...that means a lot!" "I meant baseball."

It use to be a man was defined by his career. "So, what do you do for a living? Professional stunt man? Impressive? Grizzly Bear skinner? Tough. Zamboni driver? Lucky dude. Oil boy for the Hawain Tropic calendar girls?' Umm, ok, you get my point. What happened to those wonderful conversations when our identity was soley tied to how much money a man made, where he sat between 9-5, and what his business card said? Now a man's identity strictly revolves around MPG, miles per gallon. I hear it everywhere these days. "So what you driving there a ugo? What's the mpg? 68miles per gallon...wow! Me? SUV, 1.2 miles per gallon." No matter where I am I can't get around or away from the dreaded question. Instead of being afraid of the career question I am now trying to dodge the mpg question. That's it, I am trading in the trophy wife, the high salary career, and exchanging the H2 with spinners with a supped up Prius. Sure, I may look like a dweeb driving around in...

I hate cliches...don't you? Let's cut to the chase. If you could have any super power in the world what would it be? Most people say flying and most men say X-ray vision or invisibility. We won't go there. Here is the challenge to you my faithful readers. What obscure super power would you choose for yourself if you could? Here is mine: I would give myself the ability to manipulate and control melon fruits. I would call myself - HONEY DO!!! My powers would give me the ability to control, manipulate, move, transform, shape, any melon fruit into any fashion I so choose. Here are some examples: I could fashion a jet fighter out of fresh cantelope. With a watermelon I could build a bridge or heal the planet of global warming. You get the idea. My weakness would be that melon fruit is seasonal. If the melon is out of season then I would not have my super powers so....my challenge would be to hire a young sidekick, Pit, and he would be in charge of my underground hot house where...

Wife: "Well, I guess things are going to change around here since you are going to seminary huh?" Husband: "Yes. From now on you will need to wear a pioneer dress, a doily on your head, and will have to cook lots and lots of fried chicken." Wife: "Will I have to raise my own chickens or can I buy them from the store?" Husband: "I don't want to be legalistic about it....you can buy them from the store if it is easier for you."

Wow, the place hasn't changed a bit since the last time I was here! I have been on a blogging sabbatical recently but look to be back on Monday. bjnotbk has recently been hit with hard times due to the gas crisis, the environmental crisis, the shortage of Ugandan yak pup crisis, the latte crisis, and any other crisis I can add to this list. Look for serious, hard hitting posts next week with a possible range of topics to include: Pioneer dresses, why I like them better than kilts Ask your doctor about growaset Top 10 reasons why Obama is not the Messiah as well as some other ideas not fully hatched.