A Son Of Liberty

70 and 80s TV Homage

Joe Napalm — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 19:12:00 GMT

Let me just take a brief moment to tell you that the theme song to "Airwolf" was quite possibly the most awesome TV show theme song ... evah! [link]

A close second and third are the themes to "A-Team" [link] and "Magnum, P.I." [link]. And while I'm at it, let me give a shout out to "The Fall Guy," "Laverne & Shirley," "Taxi," "Barney Miller," "Sanford and Son," "Night Court" and "Hogans Heroes." Holy frijoles, TV rocked when I was a kid.

Out of the Office, Again

Joe Napalm — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 21:01:00 GMT

This time I'm traveling on business to the land of "Touchdown Jesus." A coworker who is going with me sent a weather alert that showed two to four inches of lake-effect snow per hour is in the forecast for tomorrow. Sounds like adventure. See you on Wednesday.

Roadrunner wins again ...

WesleySonofCornelius — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 18:56:00 GMT

"beep, beep"

That pesky Roadrunner foiled us again ... [link]

Hymn and praise song comp

Joe Napalm — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 16:10:00 GMT

On the radio Friday morning I heard Dr. Stephen Davey preach a sermon. In it he included this funny anecdote about praise songs and hymns -- a battle raging in churches today.

An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was. "Well," said the farmer. "It was good. They did something different, however. They sang praise choruses instead of hymns."

"Praise choruses?" asked the wife. "What are those?"

"Oh, they're okay. They're sort of like hymns, only different," said the farmer.

"Well, what's the difference?" asked the wife.

The farmer said, "Well it's like this ... If I were to say to you, 'Martha, the cows are in the corn,' well that would be a hymn. If, on the other hand, I were to say to you, 'Martha, Martha, Martha, Oh, Martha, MARTHA, MARTHA, the cows, the big cows, the brown cows, the black cows, the white cows, the black and white cows, the COWS, COWS, COWS are in the corn, are in the corn, are in the corn, in the CORN, CORN, CORN, COOOOORRRRRNNNNN,' then, if I were to repeat the whole thing two or three times, well that would be a praise chorus."

As luck would have it, the exact same Sunday a young, new Christian from the city church attended the small town church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was. "Well," said the young man, "It was good. They did something different, however. They sang hymns instead of regular songs."

"Hymns?" asked the wife. "What are those?"

"They're okay. They're sort of like regular songs, only different," said the young man.

"Well, what's the difference?" asked the wife.

The young man said, "Well it's like this ... If I were to say to you, 'Martha, the cows are in the corn,' well that would be a regular song. If on the other hand, I were to say to you,

Oh Martha, dear Martha, hear thou my cry
Inclinest thine ear to the words of my mouth.
Turn thou thy whole wondrous ear by and by
To the righteous, glorious truth.

For the way of the animals who can explain
There in their heads is no shadow of sense,
Hearkenest they in God's sun or his rain
Unless from the mild, tempting corn they are fenced.

Yea those cows in glad bovine, rebellious delight,
Have broke free their shackles, their warm pens eschewed.
Then goaded by minions of darkness and night
They all my mild Chilliwack sweet corn chewed.

So look to that bright shining day by and by,
Where all foul corruptions of earth are reborn
Where no vicious animal makes my soul cry
And I no longer see those foul cows in the corn,

...Then, if I were to do only verses one, three and four, and change keys on the last verse, well that would be a hymn."

Out of the Office

Joe Napalm — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 21:14:00 GMT

I am away from my desk and unable to post. If I'm not back by Monday, please call the Mammoth Cave National Park Ranger Station [link] and tell them that BJ lost Joe Napalm and you want him back -- Joe, not BJ. I mean, who wants BJ? Pfft.

OK. See you on the other side of the weekend. Buh-bye.

My Sister's Kitten

Joe Napalm — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 13:32:00 GMT

My sister is pregnant with her third child and she's going crazy: [Link]

Oak Ridge National Laboratory

WesleySonofCornelius — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 20:33:00 GMT

At Oak Ridge National Laboratory (ORNL), you are not suppose to look out the window in the morning. Why? Well, what would you do in the afternoon?

As I was walking back to my office, I paused and thought, "I work at a pretty cool place."

1. Every morning I drive into a facility that was initially part of the Manhattan Project during World War II. Initially called X-10, ORNL was the home of the world's first production nuclear reactor.

2. While driving to the parking lot, I pass the entrances to the Spallation Neutron Source (SNS), the world's most powerful neutron source; the High Flux Isotope Reactor (HFIR), the world's only source of Calfornium-252; and the Electron Linear Accelerator Pulsed Neutron Source (ORELA).

3. After parking and entering the building, I pass the room that contains some of the world's most powerful computers. Currently, the Jaguar is the labeled the world's most powerful computer. Read about it [here].

4. I finally make my way up to the third floor of the new research facility that was part of the recent $350 million modernization project at ORNL. See the [before] (facing west) and the [after] (facing east).

5. I then unlock and enter my 129 square foot office, sit down behind my two 22" monitors, and turn on my Intel Core 2 Quad CPU with 2.66 GHz processor and 4.00 GB of RAM.

6. And if that is not enough, I remotely log-on to a Linux cluster that contains 36 nodes with each node containing 4 CPUs, running at 2 GHz and having 30 GB of RAM each.

7. After "working" hard, I make my way down to the cafeteria where the food is pretty good. It was especially good today because it was the Thanksgiving Dinner Special, which included your choice of oven-roasted turkey breast or baked Virginia ham with raisin glaze, cornbread dressing, chicken gravy, choice of two sides, roll, and dessert. All of that for only $7.59.

8. With a full stomach, I return back to my office, "work" a little more, check out Steeple Media (maybe post myself), and then "work" some more.

What a place to work! I do not say it to brag; it just dawned on me today, and I thought I should share. Now it is time to go look out the window!

Washington

WesleySonofCornelius — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 20:20:00 GMT

"I love to go to Washington -- if only to be near my money." - Bob Hope

Christian Marketing

Joe Napalm — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 17:00:00 GMT

I know how to overcome worldly temptations and live according to God's standard. And you can, too, if you'll visit my website and send me $49.99.

What prompts this post is a catalog I received in the mail the other day and a follow-up conversation with Wesley on Sunday.

Sometime last week, I received a copy of American Vision's catalog [link]. How I got on the mailing list is a mystery but I could probably figure it out because I suspect I know. But that's not the point. I looked at the cover and chuckled. Yep, there were the catchwords or phrase necessary for that subculture of Christianity: "Excercising Servanthood Dominion." And I continued to chuckle as I viewed the books on the front cover. I don't have the catalog in front of me but as I recall there was something about the United States being a Christian nation, Luther and possibly something about debating atheists. And this is where my chuckle turned to LOL: I guessed that I would see a 1599 Geneva Bible on the back cover and was pleasantly surprised to find a thick, leather-bound book about the history of the ... wait for it ... Reformation!

What I find laughable is the same reason that I find my Wal-Mart center aisle laughable. I live in the South. My Wal-Mart is full of overweight, mullet-coiffured men and women dragging barefoot, sagging-diaper two-year olds around looking for good deals on DVDs and cheap jewelry. You'd think that there would be troubles for anyone who stereotyped the clientele as such, but, like any good marketer, Wal-Mart has pegged the NASCAR crowd and filled the center aisles with bargain potato chips, sunscreen, Styrofoam coolers, beer by the 24-pack and lawn chairs -- year round. There's a market for those things and people want them cheap and readily accessible ... from a Jazzy electric wheelchair.

Who are these people shopping for 1599 Geneva Bibles? Who are these people shuffling through the junk mail and pausing because they saw "Dominion," "Reformed" or The Christian Life & Character of the Civil Institutions of America. And I haven't even mentioned the Civil War because then my LOL would be ROFLMBO and I couldn't finish this post.

So, you may say, "Hold up, Joe. That's not fair." And, you're right, in part. I admit the AV catalog is filled with very valuable literature (some nonsense, but most is edifying) and it is what I call "meat and potatoes." There is some deep-thinking, solid, doctrinal literature, but, seriously, who buys a 1599 Geneva Bible?

But, for the sake of full disclosure and fairness, let's look inside the Lifeway Christian Store [link], the source of material for my beloved and home denomination of Southern Baptists. Not too long ago I was looking for Bible commentaries as gifts for BJ and Wesley. Before entering, I passed a guy who was crooning and selling some off-tune, religious "emo" music at the door. I stepped one foot in the door and surveyed the floor plan. Nowhere did I see "Commentaries" or "Reference Section." I asked at the counter. The answer: Walk toward the candle, incense and oil painting section, past the self-help section, turn left at the two-story VeggieTales display, hang a right at the Best Buy-sized music and video section and you'll see the History, Reference and Maps in a wire bin by the restroom.

Yep, although it stings a little bit, the genius marketers at Lifeway have pegged the typical Southern Baptist. Who are these people that pile into the car, drive to the Christian bookstore for nourishment and buy ... a Thomas Kinkade painting?

Since I've offended the Reformed group and the Baptists, let's go one step further and mention another Christian subgroup: Those that loooove prophecy. I say "prophecy" because I don't know how else to define it. This is the Left Behind group that really has been left behind. (I'll go ahead and group the Seventh-Day Adventists in this one.) I've never received one of their catalogs, but I'd assume that the catchwords would be "anti-Christ," "Hell" and "tracts." And right now I'm beating myself up because I can't find an example of this subgroup's website, but you know it. It has a black background, red letters, animated fire .gifs, a creepy picture of an angel and disproportionate mentions of the Rapture, the United Nations and AR-15s.

So, what's the point? I reckon the point is to ask, Are we really that shallow that we're pigeonholed into our specific subcultures? When can we expect unity? Other than that, I guess I'm just venting at the lunacy of Christian marketing.

That's Hot

Joe Napalm — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 13:00:00 GMT

In a doctor's office or in the waiting area to get my haircut five or ten years ago, I read a magazine article about a survey of men that showed, when kissing a woman, single men prefer the taste of alcohol and married men prefer the taste of toothpaste. Why I share that with you I don't exactly know. But I will tell you this:

Yesterday, I got home before my family returned from the Webelos meeting. The front yard was raked, the kitchen, dining room and living room were clean. On the computer desk laid a Bible opened to the first chapter of Galatians. And when I went to greet my wife at her return, the kids were clean, well-dressed and happy.

Now that's what makes my motor run. That's hot.

"Semper Paratus"

WesleySonofCornelius — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 20:21:00 GMT

"The Coast Guard’s motto of Semper Paratus or 'always ready' was officially recognized in 1910, and thenceforth appeared on the ensign. However, no one really knows how Semper Paratus was chosen as the Coast Guard’s 'phrase' and watchword prior to its formal acceptance.

"Whatever the case, in 1922, Captain Francis S. Van Boskerck was inspired to write an official U.S. Coast Guard song that would rival 'Anchor’s Aweigh' or 'The Caisson Song.' While in the cabin of his cutter Yamacraw, which was stationed in Savannah, Ga., Boskerck put pen to paper and the lyrics for 'Semper Paratus' were born.

"Five years later, while stationed in the Aleutian Islands, Boskerck composed the accompanying music on a dilapidated old piano in Unalaska, Alaska. The geographically diverse origins of this piece are fittingly illustrated in the song’s first line 'From Aztec shore to Arctic Zone, To Europe and Far East …' Semper Paratus remains the proud standard and song of the United States Coast Guard." (Military Songs - United States Department of Veterans Affairs)

Hear it [here].

"The U.S. Air Force"

WesleySonofCornelius — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 19:36:00 GMT

"In 1938, the Army Air Corps decided they needed an official song. Liberty Magazine sponsored a contest whereby 757 scores were submitted. Of those, one written by Robert Crawford was selected by a committee of Air Corps wives and officially introduced at the Cleveland Air Races in 1939. Crawford himself sang it in its first public performance. When the Army Air Corps became a separate branch of the military in 1947, Crawford’s march changed names from 'The Army Air Corps' to the 'U.S. Air Force.'

"Since that time, the first line of 'Nothing’ll Stop the U.S. Air Force' became a motto and tradition. On July 30, 1971, the original first page submitted by Robert Crawford in 1939 was carried into space in the Apollo 15 'Falcon' and broadcast to the world by Major Alfred W. Worden, who had a tape recorder aboard the 'Endeavor' command module. The 'All-Air Force' crew arranged to take the sheet music with them as a tribute to Crawford and the U.S. Air Force." (Military Songs - United States Department of Veterans Affairs)

Hear it [here].

"Anchors Aweigh"

WesleySonofCornelius — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 18:25:00 GMT

"In an attempt to write a catchy tune to rally the Naval Academy’s football team, 'Anchors Aweigh' was born. Lieutenant Charles A. Zimmerman, the U.S. Navy bandmaster from 1887 to 1916, started the practice of composing a march for each graduating class. However, none of these tunes really caught on. In 1906, Zimmerman was approached by Midshipman Alfred Hart Miles to write a 'piece of music that would be inspiring, one with swing to it so it could be used as a football marching song, and one that would live forever.'

"Together, Zimmerman and Hart composed the tune and lyrics that became 'Anchors Aweigh,' dedicated to the class of 1907. The new fight song indeed propelled Navy to a win that year over Army. The march was subsequently adopted as the official Navy song and continues to inspire classes of Naval Academy Midshipmen." (Military Songs - United States Department of Veterans Affairs)

Hear it [here].

"Marine Hymn"

WesleySonofCornelius — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 17:13:00 GMT

"An unlikely venue hosted the debut of a tune many now associate with the Marines’ Hymn. In the city of Paris, France, Jacques Offenbach (1819-1880) wrote and conducted opera and opera-bouffe (comic and farcical opera). Most believe the melody of the Marines’ Hymn was, in fact, taken from an aria in 'Genevieve de Brabant' composed by Offenbach. This tune was morphed to fit the now famous lines 'From the Halls of Montezuma, To the Shores of Tripoli.'

"According to tradition, an officer wrote the first verse of the Hymn on duty in the Mexican War (1846-1848). Meant to highlight the various campaigns of the Marines, the unknown author edited the words from the Marines’ colors and added them to Offenbach’s melody. Continuing the custom, every campaign the Marines participate in gives birth to a new, unofficial verse. Copyright ownership of the Marines’ Hymn was vested to the U.S. Marine Corps in 1991, although its first use as the Marines’ official anthem was in 1929." (Military Songs - United States Department of Veterans Affairs)

Hear it [here].

"The Army Goes Rolling Along"

WesleySonofCornelius — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 16:12:00 GMT

"Before 'The Caisson Song' was adopted as the official tune of the U.S. Army, it was the proud anthem of the U.S. Field Artillery Corps. During a long march in the Philippines, Lieutenant Edmund L. 'Snitz' Gruber overheard an officer roar 'Come on! Keep ‘em Rolling!' Gruber, whose relative, Franz, composed the Christmas Song 'Silent Night,' was suddenly inspired and that night wrote the now-famous melody. Fellow soldiers helped with the lyrics and in almost no time, all six regiments of the U.S. Field Artillery had adopted 'The Caisson Song' as a popular marching tune.

"During the last days of World War I, senior artillery leaders wanted to make 'The Caisson Song' official, and mistaking the piece as composed during the Civil War, allowed bandmaster John Phillip Sousa to incorporate most of the song into his own composition 'The U.S. Field Artillery March.' The song became a chart-topper during World War I, selling 750,000 copies. Discovering Gruber actually wrote the melody, an embarrassed but innocent Sousa made certain Gruber received his royalties. In 1948, the Army held a nationwide contest to find an official song. After four years of unsuccessful results and nearly 800 submitted scores, the Adjunct General’s office decided to recycle 'The Caisson Song.' H.W. Arberg arranged the U.S. Army song, naming it 'The Army Goes Rolling Along.' The Army copyrighted the song in 1956." (Military Songs - United States Department of Veterans Affairs)

Hear it [here].